Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.