If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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