Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
