He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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