Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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