And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
