First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
