Im at strip club and am horny
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
