He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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