WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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