i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck