you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
