Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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