She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
