We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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