I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
