Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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