"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
