Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
