I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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