"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
