Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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