the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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