You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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