we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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