Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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