1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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