you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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