I could make wine with my vomit
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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