i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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