ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
worst night to have a conscience
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
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Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
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Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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