You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
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I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
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My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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