If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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