Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
