He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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