as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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