Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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