Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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