Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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