he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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