Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
