I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like eating out sand paper
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize