Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
