There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize