i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
im holly from the hills drunk
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
