If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
