i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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