I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
