just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
