Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
