Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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