I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I want to be your penis for a week.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize