the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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