i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize