I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
