he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
