omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
