Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
