To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
